Rite Issue face book
In the recent past, for the first time, the
Syrian Catholics of Kerala became the proud people who got the great and happy
news about the canonisation of Sr. Alphonsa as a Saint and Fr. Chawra Kuriakose
as a Blessed. The whole world and all the saints and angles of the heaven
rejoiced over these great events. Do you know that the Syrian Catholic church
with two thousand years of serving Christian tradition, has One Saint, four
Blessed souls, two Venerable souls and eleven Servants of of God recognised in
Heaven.
Out of these 18 souls, 16 of them were recognised within the period of
2000 and 2012. Some vested interests
started spreading rumours among the Syrian Catholic Shepherds of Kerala that
the Syrian Saint and these great souls in heaven are not provided with the
spiritual care necessary for them to remain as Syrian catholics.
This is
exactly the same type of rumours spread by some Kerala clergy that the catholic
churches in North India, U.S, Canada, and Australia are not interested in the
spiritual and temporal growth of the Syrian Catholics who have migrated to
these areas. The Kerala Syrian Catholic Hierarchy decided to send a high level
two member commission of enquiry to Heaven. The commission of enquiry consisted
of Mar. Geevarghese Sampathu Veetil (symbol of wealth) and Mar Sebastianose Aramana
Mana (symbol of power).
They both went to the gates of Heaven to
enter there. But St Peter and his guards did not allow them to come anywhere near
the Holy gate. So they went and joined a
sophisticated terrorist camp and underwent a training programme on infiltration
techniques, high tech communications and complicated code systems for
communication. Equipped with these new skills, these two managed to infiltrate
into Heaven.
The scene in Heaven really shocked the
sensibilities of the members of this two member commission. St. Alphonsa,
Blessed Kuriakose and all the other Syrian souls in heaven were along with the huge
crowd of non-Syrian Saints laughing, enjoying, playing, singing and dancing.
The first sentence in their report to Kerala Syrian Hierarchy was, “All the
non-Syrian saintly souls are laughing at our innocent Syrian Saintly souls and
ridiculing them. The poor Saint and our other Saintly souls of are not aware of the reason for their laughter”.
The commission also noticed that our saints were praying, singing God’s praises
along with other saints. The next sentence of the report was "Our Saints
have forgotten all the traditional Syrian prayers and they are merging with all
the other saints in all their devotional practices”. They added “The Syrian
prayers, the customs and rituals are in jeopardy. There is absolute necessity
of drastic action. Or else, our Rite will not even appear in heaven.”
“Confront the Syrian saints immediately and
take necessary action” was the message that came back from the Kerala Hierarchy
to their hidden camp.
Sr. Alphonsa and all the other 17 saintly
souls were summoned to their hidden camp by the commission. The commission told them that they are Syrian
born. They are not supposed to mix with the
Saints and saintly souls of non-Syrian community. They were told to shift their
residence to a place far away from others. The commission imported a huge quantity
of barbed wires and made a strong fence as it is done in Indo-Pakistan border.
They asked the 11 Servants of God to act as boarder security force under the
command of two Venerable souls to protect the Saint from the onslaught of non
Syrians.
The four Blessed ones were given the charge of looking after that part
of heaven and our Saint Sr. Alphonsa. In spite of this enclosure and the
guards, many of their old friends came to the fence to talk to them and invite
them to their group to sing the praises of God. The commission was infuriated and imported explosive mines from their
terrorist connections and laid these around the fence within ten metres of the
fence.
After having done that much, with full
satisfaction of having completed their mission, the commission were about to
come back to Kerala. But Sr. Alphonsa told the commission about loneliness that all of them are suffering
because of the isolation. The commission thought of this problem seriously and
gave them a considered reply. “We will send you more Syrian saints to give you
company. You will have to wait for some time. In Kerala, the families have
become nucleus families and the parents don’t want their one and only one child
to be given to the church. As such we have less of nuns and priests to become Saints.
The lay people usually don’t become Saints as they are very materialistic. We
are sending our emissaries to every part of the world to collect all the Syrian
born Kerala Catholics under one umbrella. Our people are working very hard in
U.S.A, Canada, Australia, some Gulf countries and Africa for this purpose. We have
sent our people to all the major cities of India. At present they are working
in Mumbai, Chennai, and Delhi and also in some other places. Within a very
short time, we will have a World Kerala Syrian Church.
Be sure that we will get
more Saints. If not, we will definitely have a Kerala Syrian Pope. Then there
will be no problem for more Syrian Saints as your friends. Don’t worry; we know
how to handle every situation successfully. Ultimately if needed, we will have
a Syrian Jesus born in Kerala and we will have a Syrian Heaven for the Syrians Catholics
of Kerala.
Syrian Catholics, keep up your traditional faith. You have nothing
to lose, but you have a whole new Syrian Heaven to gain with a Syrian Jesus and
a Syrian Pope. The immigration to Heaven is easy as there is a whole Syrian Heaven
with only eighteen saintly souls there. We will have to have more Saints to
create a litany of the Syrian Saints soon.
This last paragraph is not a joke. This is
the vision and mission of some of our beloved, dedicated and ambitious Shepherds
Jose Paul
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