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Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Heaven!!!!

A reachable abode for all Syrians.                                                      

The admission for Syrian laity into heaven is far tougher than the admissions for children into nursery class in unaided private schools in Delhi.

In the recent past, the Syrian Hierarchy fixed an appointment with St. Peter for a discussion of the criteria of admissions for Syrian Catholics to Heaven.

The first question to St. Peter was “Why not you get St. Thomas also to be at the gate of Heaven so that he will be able to sort out the good Syrian souls who are fit for heavenly abode?”

St. Peter replied “I already asked St. Thomas to help me in this aspect. His reaction was as follows”

St. Thomas replied in a shock “What?  Syrian Catholic Souls? I don’t know any of them.”

“But you are the founder of the Syrian Catholic Church known as Syro- Malabar Autonomous church” St. Peter said.

St. Thomas replied, “I have never founded a Syrian Catholic Church. I have nothing to do with Syria or any such names. I was born a Jew like you Peter and I lived the life of a good Jew under the guidance of Jesus’ teachings. Of course, I was in Malabar teaching them the teachings of Christ. You may say that I founded a Christian Church there. But the Church I founded does not exist there. It was broken into so many pieces and none of them follow the teachings of Jesus. I taught them to love Jesus most in their life. I taught to love one another as each one of them loved themselves. They are now teaching to hate one another and compete with one another. I have nothing to do with them. They have thrown my teachings about Jesus and His love of mankind to the winds.”

The Hierarchy said to St.Peter “O.K. If St. Thomas is like that, forget about him. I am the head of the Syrian Catholics. I have the power to make rules and decide who among the Syrians should go to Heaven. My rules are cannon and will never miss the target. I will give you the necessary instructions regarding the criteria for the eligibility of the Syrian Souls to enter the gates of Heaven. Listen well. Better note it down. I will also give you written set of conditions of eligibility for heavenly abode.

           All Syrian born Catholics who are registered in Syrian parishes and attending the services of the Syrians can claim Heavenly bliss.

       All Syrian born Catholics who are serving in any Latin dioceses or Latin Congregations as priests, nuns or as brothers may be given entrance on condition that they will be registered in Heaven as Syrian Saintly Souls or Saints.

       All Syrian born Catholics who have done a onetime registration in Syrian parish and practising Latin Rite in their daily life may be given the permission to enter heaven on condition that they agree to be in the list of the Syrian Souls in Heaven as they have already registered once in the Syrian Church.

       All the Syrian born Catholics who have applied to the Syrian Eparchy for a change of their Rite is a different category. After due consideration of the ecclesiastical exigencies, If we have given them permission, you may allow them to enter Heaven, But Put them in the register of the Syrian souls as they are born Syrians and fundamentally they have no choice but to be Syrian and the change of rite is only temporary but they are saintly Syrians..
          
         All the Syrian born Catholics who did not apply to the Syrian Hierarchy, and carried on their religious practices in Latin Churches may also be admitted to heaven on production of an affidavit to St. Peter that they are Syrian Born and will remain as a Syrian Soul in Heaven and they have no choice.

        You, Peter, follow these rules without any exception. Basically you have no choice. Still if you want to make any exceptions, apply to me and I will give you further instructions after looking at the pastoral exigencies. Remember, that If that Saintly Soul’s great, great, great ........grand father or grand mother were Syrians, put that soul in your register as a Syrian Soul.


Jose Paul  

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